3/14/09

[Act 1, Scene 1 - 8am - Maxton, North Carolina]

Sound Effect: Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!

Narrator: Oh hell, better get out of bed and start up the truck for a little while. The battery rundown protection thing is beeping at me. Okay then, we'll just turn the key and... no. And thus begins another day in dreary and rainy North Carolina...

Since this dead battery thing happened to me roughly six months ago, I've erred on the side of caution when it comes to leaving the truck running. If I'll be sleeping longer than a few hours and the weather is a little cold, the truck stays on. This has led to a few nights when the truck was idling and it may not absolutely have had to idle. Then when you add in the slower business through December and January and the rather Icelandic winter that we've had in this country (courtesy of global warming, no doubt), all of the idling has been pretty bad for my MPG. So I've been a little more cavalier about leaving the truck off lately. I've been turning it on for a while before I go to bed and then shutting it off for the night. No problems starting it in the morning. Until today. I'm not sure what was the cause, since I don't have an inverter or refrigerator or anything connected to the truck. The batteries are probably getting a little on the older side but we'll just have to see what happens from this point forward.

I turned on my trusted Sony Ericsson special edition Godfather model communication device and made a call to our road service department. No time on hold? Weird. The guy on the phone said that he would get someone out to help me. Two minutes later I received a message telling me who was coming. Five minutes later the service truck showed up. Five minutes later my truck was running. Not bad.

The service truck guy asked if I was picking up at Campbell's Soup. In doing so, he solved a mystery that had been rattling around my brain for a while. "I know y'all got dropped trailers o'er there," said he. This job brings new towns and new sights almost every day, but those towns and sights all run together after a while. It gets difficult to distinguish between real memories and false interpolations. I had some vague recollection of Maxton, North Carolina but I couldn't remember why. Campbell's. That's right. I have been to Maxton before. After being reminded of the prominent local business and then reading that old post, I can actually picture the security guard's face as he wished me a safe trip and told me that his best friend was from Bedford, Pennsylvania before I closed my door and drove away. He was an older black guy with a five o'clock shadow and a pleasant twinkle in his eye. I remember the nice sunny day and the kids motioning for me to blast the air horn as I drove by. Ahhh... a temporary respite from the miserable and depressing scene that was this morning.

I was still #1 on the board after getting my truck started today, with no assigned load. Even though I was convinced by this point that I had been sent to Maxton to prepare for a load out of Campbell's, there was no official indication that this would be the case. There was a grocery store next door though. Did somebody say, "Sourdough hoagie?" You betcha. I'm a sandwich crafting fool. But I can't believe I ate the whole thing. Oy.

After a lengthy nap to relieve the misery that tends to follow such gluttony, I got a satellite message. "DROP TRL AT CAMPBELLS IN MAXTON, NC PROFILE INFO TO FOLLOW" Then the directions to the Campbell's plant. Nothing further? Nope. Okay then. I drove the two miles to the soup factory and dropped off my empty, then parked at the little gas station across the street.

What the hell? No cellular service, no internet service? I only moved two freaking miles. I had great service behind the restaurant. That doesn't make any sense. I had the back half of a fifty cent parlay riding on a rugby match between Scotland and Ireland today, and I wanted to catch the ending, so internet access was going to be needed. Guess it's time to go back to Hardee's. Back at the dirt lot, my connection was once again fast and steady. Ireland won the game and I won my forty-four cents. Beauty.

And then the waiting resumed...

And the end of the pay week approached...

And the waiting continued...

Yeah. It's 10:45pm now (1am ends the pay week) in my neck of the woods. I'm still #1 on the board, I have no trailer, and I'm not entirely sure what's going on. It looks like my week will wrap up short of $1,000 again. If anybody knows this guy, tell him to call ConWay Truckload and request me personally. I'll haul that wood for him. At a real reasonable price too.

3/13/09

Why do I feel the need to move to Seattle and complain that nobody understands me? Oh, that's right. It was a dreary and depressing kind of day from start to finish. The grunge rockers would be in all their glory down here. I awoke before the sun came up. Then... the sun never did come up. Aside from a few stray snowflakes on the windshield here and there, it was just a tedious rainy chilly affair.

I logged onto my computer to check my board status after making my relay in Virginia. Per usual, I checked my email while I was at it. Okay, let's see...

Penis enlargement; Lose weight with Acai something or other, as seen on Oprah; Generic Viagra; Support the Democratic Party; Support the Republican Party; Make $10,000 a month from home; Mystery shoppers needed; Discount offer from Papa John's; Dish Network for $9.99 a month; 2 days left for 20% off hotels at Orbitz; Nancy has sent you a message...

Nancy? To quote Leon Phelps - "Ooh, it's a lady!"

Oh, nevermind. It's a fake lady.
Sorry about the strange message but you remind me of a friend from TAYLOR's high school.. Except your much cuter :) I saw your picture and read your profile your quite the interesting individual. Says your 32.. you look great! Im sorry to flatter you but id love to chat or even get to know you a bit more. Im single honest been cheated on before and know what I want. Have a steady job, car and pretty much bored on weekends. If youd like to talk or go for some drinks email me its on my profile. I dont get on myspace too often. Nancy

So I have that going for me, which is nice. Of course she doesn't really exist, but for an imaginary internet chick she ain't so bad. Probably better looking than any real women who might want to come around my way. Not quite as hot as the last two imaginary internet chicks who sent the same message though. Bummer. If any of you went to TAYLOR's high school, you might want to e-mail her. The address is, as she says, on her profile. Of course, there is more than one high school in Taylor but I'm sure you can sort that out amongst yourselves.

Anyhow, I was #1 on the board after my relay with some time left on today's clock. Time for a nap. That 4am shit is for the birds. And the head hits the pillow... and there's the beep from the magical satellite. Story of life.

The next assignment was an odd one. Deadhead to Maxton, North Carolina and get on the board. These random deadhead assignments aren't entirely unprecedented but they are unusual. More often than not, it's a way to get me moving toward a place where I'll be picking up, but before all of the details of the load have made their way into the computer system. I had roughly enough hours to get to Maxton, depending on the traffic, so I did what I do - drive the truck and let other people do the thinking. I caught a break as the road was more dry than not between Roanoke and the North Carolina line. That US-220 is a bit of a rollercoaster in Virginia. Then the rain resumed and never really stopped the rest of the way.

As I rolled southward, I expected a load assignment to come through. The assignment never did come through. Hmm. Maxton is a really off-the-wall place to go if the objective was really just to get me on the board. Whatever. A mile is a mile in my little world. They all pay the same. According to my truck stop directory there are two truck stops in Maxton, each with a small parking area. I took the NC-71 exit and hoped for the best. Right off the ramp there was a Hardee's with a big dirt lot behind it. No reason to go down to the Shell station then. You know, bird in the hand and whatnot.

So I'm #1 on the board with 2,379 miles plus a few dollars in northeast pay on the books. I'm inclined to think that I'll probably be picking up something nearby in the morning. Any kind of typical weekend run tomorrow will leave my week looking rather productive. Time will tell.

3/12/09

Where did all the people in Illinois go? It's getting to the point now that I would be surprised to encounter traffic in the Chicago area. Another nice easy drive down I-294 and across I-80 today. Weird.

I am not a big fan of I-65 in Kentucky and Tennessee, so I took US-41 down through Indiana and then caught the Pennyrile Parkway down to I-24. Much easier ride into Nashville that way. There was some sleet up in the hills but it had turned to rain once I got down to the truck stop. About an hour or two before I got to my relay point, I received another pre-planned load. That's always a good sign. The relay was quick and painless and then I had time for the old shower/shave/haircut routine before leaving the Pilot and heading to my next pickup. After I came back out to my truck the rain had stopped. Beauty.

Ahh yes, my next pickup. Freaking ConWay in Nashville. Freaking 4:30am departure. Freaking relay at the freaking T/A in Troutville, Virginia. That hair that I shaved off wasn't blue just yet, but if I keep starting my days this early... you just never know.

I'm out here to make a buck though, so I can't complain too much. Once I make the relay I'll be at 2,146 miles for the week with a shot to get something decent for the weekend. I know I've pulled loads out of Virginia on the weekend before. Maybe I can catch one of those nice light QVC loads going from Suffolk to Texas. A boy can dream, right?

While I was at the Pilot today, I had to call and confirm the ConWay assignment. One of those dumb little things that they make us do. While I was on the phone, I got to take a little survey. What sort of repairs would I be able to make if I had the parts and instructions, that kind of stuff. I was also "strongly encouraged" to open myself up to Canada runs and hazmat, since I was limiting the miles available to me by not doing do. If I "chose" to take Canada loads, I would need a passport or FAST card by June 1st and the wait is around thirty days for a card once the process is started. Anyone else suspect that my "option" to take Canada runs will become a requirement by the end of April, so that I'll have my FAST card by June? I won't be surprised. I didn't think it made any sense when they gave us the chance to opt out in the first place. I'm surprised they've let us go this long. Whatever dude. As long as I have the choice, my choice is not to sit at that damn Pilot in Tilbury waiting for a fax so I can come back into the states. Once the choice is no longer mine, I'll do what I have to do.

3/11/09

I got hoodwinked by that damn global warming again. I swear it was sixty degrees when I went to bed last night with my truck turned off. We all know that it's best not to picture my state of undress when I awoke this morning, but I was shivering my balls off. My satellite unit chirped at me, so I hopped out of bed thinking that I may have slept through my alarm or something. This was unlikely since the alarm was set for this afternoon, but you don't exactly process all of this stuff when you are jarred from a peaceful sleep. I stepped into the front of the cab and took a look at the screen. Dumbass message asking us to drive safely. It was 27 freaking degrees. Dude. That ain't underwear weather.

After I cranked up the heat and then got back in bed long enough to warm myself to a survivable temperature, it was time to hit the road. I got to the consignee a little early and had to watch a neat little slide show about safety procedures, none of which were followed by anybody at the location. Well, they did take my keys while I was at the dock. One procedure was followed. After watching the slide show I was directed to a staging area and told to listen on Channel 13 for my dock assignment. "Okay, you need to go over there and we'll call you on 13 when we're ready for you." That sentence is quoted verbatim without any words redacted. No further instruction was given.

I got my call to the dock after a little over an hour of sitting, during which my next assignment had come across the satellite. The forklift guy was working at warp speed so I got my keys back and left the dock a few minutes later. I stopped at the security booth to check out and then got scolded by some chick that I had never seen before. She informed me, rather forcefully, that I did not get a scale ticket on my way in. Yeah, so? She was pissed right the hell off. Yikes.

It turns out that I was supposed to weigh my truck and trailer on the way in and then weigh it again once I was empty, so they could calculate how much stuff I delivered. I defy anyone to find any mention of this weighing process in the quoted sentence above. Further to that, I sat in the damn parking area for at least an hour before I went to the dock. If this was so important, then surely the little princess could have said something over the CB and told me to weigh in before I left for the dock. Whatever dude. The news wasn't all bad though. Since I didn't have a loaded weight, there was no need for me to turn back toward the scale and get an empty weight. Beauty. Away we go.

I had to head up to the good old ConWay yard in Des Plaines today and stage for a load leaving tomorrow morning. Nice light traffic passing Chicago again this afternoon. Creepy. This run will get me 500 miles tomorrow, relaying in Nashville, but today's end of the deal only brought me 54 miles. I'll still be in decent shape for the week as long as the weekend can bring me something reasonable. That last sentence could have been written in any of the last several weeks though. I won't hold my breath. Hey, I do get to relay at that shithole Pilot in Nashville tomorrow afternoon. That's always nice.

3/10/09

I think I managed to figure out something today. The reason I'm not married anymore has nothing to do with the fact that my ex-wife and I couldn't stand living together. Oh no, not at all. The real reason is that I never surrendered my gonads. It turns out that you can't have those if you want to be married... or something. So I was rolling along today, listening to sports radio and trying to find something interesting. Basketball pretty much sucks as far as I'm concerned. The hockey playoffs aren't here yet. The only news out of the World Baseball Classic has to do with Alex Rodriguez and his hip. But there is sunlight just over the horizon. Notre Dame's spring game is next month. That's always fun. At some point in the day my brother called to shoot the breeze for a bit. I mentioned the upcoming season for the Irish. The topic of the spring game came up. And the hemming and hawing began.

A wedding shower? Is this for real? Men really go to wedding showers? Apparently his castration has predated his wedding by a few months and now he's going to bail on the Blue and Gold game. Pitiful. He wrapped up by saying that he would try to get his fiancée to move the shindig to Sunday so he could go to the game on Saturday. I'm pretty sure we know how that one will turn out. I've honestly never heard of a man going to a wedding shower before.

My other brother says that he's going to the game, but he tends to bail out at the last minute. My buddy who usually goes to these things seems to be pretty broke these days. I won't be counting on him. Pretty much everybody else around me hates Notre Dame. Screw 'em. I'll go down there and tailgate by myself. I don't give a damn.

Men really go to wedding showers?

Anyhow, leaving the whole manhood debate aside, I had a pretty easy day of driving today. I was rolling up the highway when I got a text message reminding me that I was supposed to participate in an online focus group tonight at 8:30pm. I hadn't been apprised of the content to be discussed but I did remember agreeing to participate. I got off the road in time to sign on and see what was what. Oh the excitement! We spent an hour discussing two ads relating to margarine spreads. Eh, what the hell, why not? Twenty bucks is twenty bucks.

So I'll have a little bit of ground left to cover before tomorrow afternoon's delivery. I'll be able to see better though, since it did rain enough to wash the bugs off my window tonight. That's always a bonus.

3/9/09

Some people seem to think that experimentation is only for scientists or curious co-eds after a few martinis. Those people are mistaken. Sometimes I am in the mood for a little experimentation myself. The co-eds seem to keep their distance from me though, so I have to settle for exploring a new route. The practical route for this trip would have taken me across Louisiana and then straight up. For some reason that route didn't suit my eye when I looked at the map. I angled northeastward from Exit 44 in Louisiana and then started playing it by ear. North for a while. East for a while. North for a while. I probably added some time to the route in the process. I don't know. It was a nice change of pace.

I ducked into our terminal in West Memphis to spend the night and get some laundry done. It should be a pretty decent 500 mile drive from here to the consignee. Then my delivery is on Wednesday afternoon so I'll have to keep my fingers crossed and hope that whole day doesn't get wasted.

Is it really possible that Hollywood has made a movie that I might like to see?

3/8/09

I wonder if I should just make it official and move to Texas. It seems that I spend more time here than I do in Michigan anyway, and I could skip the whole state income tax thing. I almost got out of Texas today, but not quite. Tomorrow morning's pickup will be in Orange, so I'm spending the evening bored out of my gourd at the luxurious Pilot truck stop. The last few days have provided plenty of time to get things done that needed to be done, so now I'm fresh out of ideas. Guess I'll start back up on those back episodes of The Simpsons.

My next load will be taking me up to Illinois, so for the fourth week in a row I'll be off to a good start with respect to miles. Hopefully I won't have my fourth lousy finish in a row afterward.

I guess I'll wrap up by noting that daylight savings time is pretty dumb.