It's been five years.

I usually almost always end up looking stupid when I submit one of these trash talking posts, but fuck it.  Five years ago I enjoyed my weekend.  Maybe it could happen one more time.  Maybe?




We'll (and by 'we,' I mean people who have nothing to do with me) probably get our asses handed to us soon enough, but for now it's fun to reminisce. I've had to listen to these bastards talk their shit all week, just like I had to listen to the other bastards talk their shit all last week. Ahh... living in Michigan...

I joined a new website today.

I was wading through the usual wasteland of e-mails in my inbox before I went to work this afternoon.  One of them seriously made me laugh out loud.  Not the chatspeak LOL nonsense either.  I mean that I sat in my comfy recliner, all by myself, and busted out laughing.  Wanna see it?




I didn't laugh out loud at the whole thing, although quite a few of the one-liners made me crack a grin.  The part that made me laugh came near the end, when the voiceover dude said, "Paid for by Obama for America. Obama two thousand twelve, because you still really hate George Bush, right?"  I guess it was just one of those 'It's funny 'cause it's true' things.

That's really all they've got left, after all.  Bankrupting the country didn't help with the unemployment situation.  Paying off all the public sector unions didn't help the GDP situation.  Nobody seems to give a shit about global warming anymore.  People still hate the federal health care takeover by wide margins.  Stabbing Israel in the back and performing fellatio on the Russians while simultaneously grabbing our ankles and asking the Chinese to be gentle... not exactly material for a rousing campaign speech, eh?  But we do still hate Bush, don't we?  Don't we?

At first glance I thought the video was just a parody making fun of The One™'s last couple of efforts to recruit snitches.  (Remember flag@whitehouse.gov and Fight the Smears?)  Upon further investigation though, the new snitch site is real.  Oh man, sign me up!

So I signed up and reported myself for some shit that I've said.  Then I reported some other people for shit that they've said.  Then I reported The One™ for some shit that he's said.  Then I made up a few things that sounded funny to me and reported them as well.

The landing page after you click 'report' is a form where you can donate money.  Obviously I wasn't about to do that and I may or may not have been using fake e-mail addresses, so I have no idea what follows afterward.  I just know that I managed to waste a few minutes of someone's time.  And that made me smile.

I had an easy milk run tonight, taking me down to Monroe for two stores and getting me back home in just over four hours.  Beauty.  My daily minimum pay is only $142, but hell, that's good enough when it works out to ~$35 an hour and I have a relaxing evening in store.

I did some more reading after I got home.  My favorite segment of the Mediaite article...

"In less than 24 hours we've had over 100,000 people sign up at the website, which indicates significant interest from supporters." 

Some campaign hack actually said that.  I'll catch a little flack for the terminology, as I always do, but this campaign is apparently being run by fucking retards.  (No offense is intended to the developmentally challenged among us.)  Seriously though, your new snitch site is a complete laughingstock and you don't even know it?  I was 7 of your 100,000 people.  I'm probably not the only one.  Retards.

This was their one strength, right?  Campaigning?  Well here's a little campaign advice, free of charge (since I chose not to donate)...

Dude

I don't know much about the deeper meaning of the universe and all that, but I just got seats to all three potential first round games at Comerica Park.  Everyone else with whom I've spoken got shut out.  I got all three games.

Dude.

Things I get a kick out of - Volume Two

Volume Two - Kites

I get a kick out of kites.  Such a seemingly simple invention, but enough to remind us all of our long lost youth, or whatever.

My niece's birthday falls on the day after mine.  She's a September 11th baby, as it turns out, although she was born a couple of years after the namesake day's tragic events.  To celebrate her birthday, most of my family (i.e. - everyone except my youngest brother and I) went camping for the weekend.  I have no use for camping, so I stayed home and smashed my head against the wall... err, watched that disgrace of a football game.

I wasn't quite sure what to get the kid for her birthday, so I decided to keep it simple and go old school.  Well, kinda old school.  I remember the kites from my childhood being fairly cheaply built and not all that impressive.  Nowadays, you can buy all kinds of high tech stuff with the click of a computer mouse.  The only tricky part was trying to balance the advanced nature of a given kite with the skill set of an eight year old girl.  It would do no good to buy some sort of high tech stunt kite and then have her crash it repeatedly.  I settled on a fairly simple lightweight model with a six and a half foot wingspan.

The folks in attendance sent me a couple of photos over the course of the weekend.

So at least she pretended to enjoy the gift, even if ole Uncle Joe didn't know what he was doing.  That's good enough for me.

The only regret that I have now is that I should have bought myself a kite while I was at it.  Flying a kite on this upcoming Saturday is likely to provide a lot more entertainment than watching my Irish get their asses kicked by Michigan State.  I get a kick out of kites.