4/18/09

How does the old saying go? That's right... I'm never drinking again.

This year, I actually think Our Lady's lads have the talent level to surprise a lot of the naysayers out there. That was nice to see. They used the same goofy scoring system as last year though. Dumb. The defense outplayed the offense rather convincingly and still lost by thirty points.

We got an ideal day for hanging around and observing the 'scenery,' as the sun was shining and the temperature was pleasant. The beers were flowing, the grill was hot, and all was right with the world.

But I'm never drinking again.

4/17/09

Given three forlorn travelers, two of whom slept for roughly three hours each last night, would you think it possible that four cases of empty cans might amass in their hotel room? Unfortunately... we won't answer this question tonight. Think whatever you want to think.

4/16/09

Dude, get me to Notre Dame already. If I have to get together with one more group of friends this week, my pants may not fit by the time I go back to work. As expected, my famous lasagna was worthy of its title tonight. Beauty. I ate one piece too many though. My buddy's kid was all smiles while I was holding him and he cried when he went back to his father. Take that. I'm like a regular domestic fella... or something.

On the way out to Walled Lake, I caught some of that odd little Mitch Albom fella's radio show. He was talking about Susan Boyle - the show stopper from Britain's Got Talent. I don't watch television and I must live under a rock because I had never heard anything about this chick. 16 million views on YouTube, oy. That link is worth a click if you appreciate good music. In an odd twist though, I find myself agreeing with Mr. Albom and wondering if we're all to cynical and jaded. The song itself was powerful and moving, but I couldn't help but wonder if the audience was being sandbagged. Some of the production seemed a little too over the top to be indicative of a legitimate surprise. Do you suppose that they knew what she could do and just played the surprised role for TV? I would prefer to think that she's really just the weird cat lady who got a chance, but I wonder. In any case, if you can knock anything from Les Miserables out of the ballpark, I'm impressed.

Bedtime now. Lou Holtz tomorrow. Beauty.

4/15/09

You know what's pretty lame? Tea party protests. The leftists get to protest every damn thing under the sun with a bunch of scantily clad college chicks who don't know their asses from a sequence of holes in the ground. Why do I get to hang out with a bunch of responsible, productive, educated, and patriotic tax-paying citizens (who are generally pretty old and not very attractive)? No justice for me in a world run by The Man, I guess. And honestly, Joe the Plumber? In Lansing? That just ain't right. I don't know what makes that guy a political authority, but no.

And, even before the little shindig started, I got into a verbal spat with some chick. While parallel parking, I happened to nudge her car with my front bumper. My bad. No question. She got out and started giving her POS the standard rectal exam before I even opened my door. Okay, I've seen this routine before. I didn't just fall off the banana boat. I, rather politely I must say, told her that I didn't touch her car anywhere near any of the ten spots where she was trying to find an issue. In point of fact, I hadn't even smudged the dirt on her bumper. "It doesn't matter," said she. "You still hit my car and you should still apologize!"

Oh hell... here we go in 3,2,1... "Go fuck yourself," said I (reluctantly). "Call the cops if that's what you need to do." And off we went. Yeah, I'm still trying to work on that whole 'nuance' thing. In my defense though, I originally had intended to apologize. She just went straight into bitchy victim mode before I could react. Instinct took over from there.

So the highlight of our trek to Lansing turned out to be... you guessed it... lunch and beers after the rally. Brannigan Brothers was a nice spot to spend some time watching my Tigers spank those thugs from Chicago. Good times, good times.

The douchebags guys at the Kenworth dealer told me this morning that they'll call when my truck is ready. I think we've established that this is most likely bullshit, but we'll have to see.

And tonight was somewhat productive, as I got my lasagna for tomorrow assembled and ready to bake, then boiled up some sausages in dark amber something-or-other ahead of this weekend's tailgate grilling. Tomorrow I get to be one of those uncles who's not really an uncle, but my friend with the new kid doesn't have an upstanding brother who could be a good uncle... therefore I have to act like I'm not a total degenerate for a few hours. Friday brings a drive to Indiana and a speech from Lou Holtz. Life is still pretty damn good... so far at least.

4/14/09

Since our friend in Indy seems to be concerned with how often I'm ground beneath the wheels of commerce, he'll be disappointed to learn that I spent 45 minutes scrubbing the interior of my truck today... and I wasn't paid a dime for it. Oh the horror. In a related story, I'm thinking of serving Thursday's dinner on the floor boards of my truck. That baby is squeaky clean. I went to bed in a fairly inebriated state at 6am this morning and then slept until well after noon, so I didn't much feel like driving my truck over to Dearborn. We'll deal with that part tomorrow.

I got the sauce (gravy for those of you on the East Coast) for my famous lasagna cooked up tonight, leaving one less thing to deal with over the next couple of days. And I sent in my tax return to my completely responsible and well-governed state. That seven dollar refund will go quite nicely with one of my future ten dollar stimulus rebates. The gravy train is rolling in, my friends.

And I found out that I might be a right wing extremist. That sucks. I'm not sure about all that racism and disgruntled military jazz, but I most definitely have concerns over the assault on the Second Amendment and the rise of the old Soviet Union and China in response to our current situation. I think a national debt that will soon eclipse our GDP is probably a recipe for an economic collapse, but I don't think Jews and illegal immigrants are plotting to take over the world. I don't know. Maybe I'm not a right wing extremist. In any case, hopefully the storm troopers won't arrest me while I yell catchy slogans in Lansing tomorrow. Guess I better get some rest now. Half-assed imitations of historic events in Boston might be tiring... or something.

4/13/09

When you head to Kelly's for a cold one and the tamale guy shows up right when you start to feel hungry... the world is a groovy kind of place. The Tigers got whipped by that bunch of thugs from Chicago though. Bummer.

The ole Godfather racked up quite a grocery list today after the ballgame. Got the stuff for Thursday's lasagna, Friday night's Italian sausages, Saturday's parking lot carne asada, and Sunday morning's hangover breakfast. Oh yeah, and lots of beverages. Prepared like a Boy Scout, as they say. Hopefully Mr. Weis and the lads will put on a good show for us.

I guess I'll scrub down the old Kenworth and drop it off at the dealer tomorrow. Those degenrates can certainly get it done before next week.

4/12/09

I came up $600,000 in prize money short of winning the golf vacation from my Masters pool. Boo hoo. I don't know how many entrants there were in total, but I finished in 19th place overall. That's probably more success than I'll ever have at anything in real life. What an awesome finish though. That was fun to watch.

I was hoping to stay parked on my couch for another day today, but Mom called to wish me a happy Easter and then asked if I was coming over for dinner. Okay then. It's not like I've ever been one to pass up a free meal.

Back home now. Chillin' in the PJ's. Beer in the fridge. Life is good.

Happy Easter everyone.