Saturday night...

I watch football and drink beer on Saturdays. That's it. There are no exceptions. I don't work. I don't go around and hobnob with various people. I sit in my recliner and I watch football... while drinking beer.

There were a few opportunities to stand up and shout during tonight's "home game" in DC against a hapless Maryland team, but everyone kinda knew how that game was destined to go. I was excited for the handful of good plays, to be sure. Blowouts are really more about relaxing and enjoying the moment though. They're not 'jump out of your seat' kinds of events.

After the game, as I tend to do, I started browsing the net to see what had happened during the previous several hours. Not a whole lot seemed notable... until I stumbled across the following video clip. The topic being discussed was rather mundane, but watching ole Mr. Speaker lay the smack down on this CBS douchebag was rather entertaining.

He (the moderator) went into the exchange with a smarmy little grin. They didn't show his face afterward, but I can picture the result.  Newt kicked his ass.  There's no other way to put it.  I didn't jump out of my seat, on account of all the beer and football and my injured back and whatnot, but I thought about it.  That was a first on this particular Saturday night.



"That is explicitly false," indeed. The right wing criticism of Obama after he chose to whack an American citizen without trial wasn't so much directed at Obama. It was directed at his moronic disciples who thought Bush was Hitler but Obama is God, even as Obama repeatedly did exactly what Bush would have done. Guantanamo - open for business. Rendition - going strong. Civilian trials - ain't gonna happen. Drone strikes - at an all-time high.

The criticism was never based on Mr. Pelley's childish assertion that an enemy combatant is essentially the same as a shoplifter. That notion is reserved for the special-ed segment of the political left and it deserves a thorough beatdown. Newt delivered that beatdown tonight, apparently.

I still think the Newtster is an obnoxious dickhead who serves only himself but, at least on this particular Saturday night, he laid the wood to a moron. This made me cheer out loud, even if I couldn't convince myself to endure the pain and leap out of my seat. Baby steps, as they say. Baby steps.

Messing With Tradition

It seems that plenty of the Notre Dame faithful are up in arms about the latest affront to the storied past of the Ramblers Fighting Irish.  New helmets will be worn for the upcoming offsite game against Maryland.  I'm not referring to the new standard helmets (which incidentally look awesome).  I'm referring to a new alternate helmet, kinda like the shamrock one that they wore in that debacle against Michigan, but more bedazzled or whatever.

So people are pissed off and such.  "Why doesn't Brian Kelly win a few more games before he starts fucking around with tradition (and so on)?"  Personally, I don't care for the alternate uniform trend that has swept the college football world.  Then again, I don't have a Facebook account and I have no interest in getting one.  The reality is that trends happen, whether we like them or not.  This one goes in the 'or not' camp for me, but so be it.

There's an unspoken dynamic at play here.  It's one that few people mention for reasons that will soon be obvious to you, but screw it.  I'm always willing to call 'em like I see 'em.  Notre Dame's football team consists of a bunch of teenagers and early-20's types, most of whom are black.  Notre Dame's fanbase consists of a bunch of stuffy old alumni and Midwestern Irish Catholic types, most of whom are white.  Now you know why nobody mentions this particular aspect.  It's not actually racist though.  It's reality.  We're all products of the culture in which we exist.

Back in the early 90's (when I was young like the players), I liked NWA a hell of a lot more than I liked Nirvana.  And I'm probably the whitest white dude any of you will ever know.  Now (when I'm just another frustrated fan) I like (recognize?) basically nothing on the Billboard Hot 100 chart.  But that chart has all the hottest music that people are buying, right?  So whatever.  If football players are into goofy uniforms and so forth, let 'em have their fun.  Guys like me will still get to see the gold pants (or at least the lousy 2011 khaki version), blue jerseys, and gold helmets most of the time.  The youngsters can have their preference once or twice a year and we can all continue to get along.  Nobody's tradition has been destroyed, even if it has been messed with just a little.

There is one major problem with my conciliatory approach here though.  Why in the hell are those shamrocks so fucking huge?

You know... I knew it all along...

"Naomi Greenblatt, MD, a board certified psychiatrist specializing in women’s health, told HealthyWomen.com: 'There seems to be a growing trend in women having sex for obligation, not enjoyment purposes.'"

It wouldn't hurt you ladies to consider the benefits once in a while.  And learn to prioritize, for Pete's sake.  If your fellas aren't getting you into the 42% camp, well, that's when it's time to shift gears and consider someone more like... I don't know... your local milk man. 

Provided that you're easy on the eyes, of course.  Some of those milk men can even alleviate the old "there are only 24 hours in a day" nonsense, given that they don't sleep much and can accomodate any schedule.

I ain't sayin', I'm just sayin'.