We begin today's story with a theatrical presentation...
What does Bull Durham have to do with anything? Well, first of all, the author of this blog happens to love that movie. More relevant, however, is the fact that whoever dropped the trailer that I pulled today was clearly begging me to call him a cocksucker. Okay then, my esteemed coworker. You're a cocksucker.
The trailer had twelve lights by my count. Top front amber (x2), top side amber (x2), side turn signal amber (x2), rear tail/brake red (x2), rear corner marker red (x2), and rear tail/turn signal red (x2). Got all that? Good. Four of the twelve were either missing or non-functional. One brake light was out. One corner marker light was out. One side turn signal was lit but wouldn't flash. One top side marker light was completely missing. Cocksucker.
There is never a ton of extra time on those ConWay loads so I really couldn't afford to get stuck in a T/A service bay all day. I called to apprise my fleet manager of the situation and then started rolling. Both rear turn signals were working, so the faulty side one hopefully would not be a big deal. The marker lights were a fairly minor issue, in and of themselves, since the sun would be up soon enough and they would be turned off. My biggest concern was the brake light. I planned to top off my fuel tanks and buy some replacement bulbs once I hit Tennessee. Obviously there was nothing that I could do about the top side marker light, but the rest might be fixable.
The scales were open on I-24 in Kentucky, as they tend to be. I had my lights off by the time I got there and I was only hauling an 18,000 pound payload. No reason to worry, right? I pulled in and went over the weigh-in-motion scales. I was predictably directed to the bypass lane. I approached the electronic sign that usually tells me to exit. "Park --->". You've got to be shitting me. So I pulled in there and waited for the cop dude to walk over to my truck. "We'll just take about fifteen minutes and do a quick inspection," said he. Can you guess the word that came to mind? (Hint: It rhymes with rock chucker.) Yeah.
I told the cop right away that I knew I had a couple of trailer lights out (So I lowballed it. Sue me.) and I needed to get to a T/A or Petro for repairs. He said that he was doing a Level 3. This was only paperwork and stuff like that. I'm a straight-up legal running mofo so I had no issues there. Crisis avoided. The cop handed me my 'no violations' form and sent me on my way.
I got through the rest of Kentucky and all of Tennessee with no trouble. When I stopped and bought replacement lights, I got the brake light and the corner marker light working. The new bulb didn't make the side turn signal flash, so that's a wiring issue (above my pay grade). Back to the road... There was a major delay getting onto the Atlanta bypass, but it was affecting the eastbound lanes. I wasn't slowed too long before I could get onto the westbound loop. Just before I reached that traffic jam I had received a pre-planned load picking up in Alabama and heading to Pennsylvania. Good deal. This day might work out after all.
As I headed down the west side of I-285 I felt the call of nature. There's nothing quite as glamorous as a Pilot truck stop so I ducked off at Exit 16. I would take care of my business at the Pilot, drive the last few miles, get rid of my trailer, make my call to road service about the remaining trailer issues, and be on my way to Alabama.
I walked out and learned a very important lesson - Don't take a shit in Atlanta. If you do, you'll eventually come back outside and discover people standing around and staring at the front of your truck. Yeah, who knew? So, why would people be standing around and staring at the front of your truck? Maybe because it looks like this...
The trailer had twelve lights by my count. Top front amber (x2), top side amber (x2), side turn signal amber (x2), rear tail/brake red (x2), rear corner marker red (x2), and rear tail/turn signal red (x2). Got all that? Good. Four of the twelve were either missing or non-functional. One brake light was out. One corner marker light was out. One side turn signal was lit but wouldn't flash. One top side marker light was completely missing. Cocksucker.
There is never a ton of extra time on those ConWay loads so I really couldn't afford to get stuck in a T/A service bay all day. I called to apprise my fleet manager of the situation and then started rolling. Both rear turn signals were working, so the faulty side one hopefully would not be a big deal. The marker lights were a fairly minor issue, in and of themselves, since the sun would be up soon enough and they would be turned off. My biggest concern was the brake light. I planned to top off my fuel tanks and buy some replacement bulbs once I hit Tennessee. Obviously there was nothing that I could do about the top side marker light, but the rest might be fixable.
The scales were open on I-24 in Kentucky, as they tend to be. I had my lights off by the time I got there and I was only hauling an 18,000 pound payload. No reason to worry, right? I pulled in and went over the weigh-in-motion scales. I was predictably directed to the bypass lane. I approached the electronic sign that usually tells me to exit. "Park --->". You've got to be shitting me. So I pulled in there and waited for the cop dude to walk over to my truck. "We'll just take about fifteen minutes and do a quick inspection," said he. Can you guess the word that came to mind? (Hint: It rhymes with rock chucker.) Yeah.
I told the cop right away that I knew I had a couple of trailer lights out (So I lowballed it. Sue me.) and I needed to get to a T/A or Petro for repairs. He said that he was doing a Level 3. This was only paperwork and stuff like that. I'm a straight-up legal running mofo so I had no issues there. Crisis avoided. The cop handed me my 'no violations' form and sent me on my way.
I got through the rest of Kentucky and all of Tennessee with no trouble. When I stopped and bought replacement lights, I got the brake light and the corner marker light working. The new bulb didn't make the side turn signal flash, so that's a wiring issue (above my pay grade). Back to the road... There was a major delay getting onto the Atlanta bypass, but it was affecting the eastbound lanes. I wasn't slowed too long before I could get onto the westbound loop. Just before I reached that traffic jam I had received a pre-planned load picking up in Alabama and heading to Pennsylvania. Good deal. This day might work out after all.
As I headed down the west side of I-285 I felt the call of nature. There's nothing quite as glamorous as a Pilot truck stop so I ducked off at Exit 16. I would take care of my business at the Pilot, drive the last few miles, get rid of my trailer, make my call to road service about the remaining trailer issues, and be on my way to Alabama.
I walked out and learned a very important lesson - Don't take a shit in Atlanta. If you do, you'll eventually come back outside and discover people standing around and staring at the front of your truck. Yeah, who knew? So, why would people be standing around and staring at the front of your truck? Maybe because it looks like this...
Excellent! Just what I needed. There were two guys who said that they saw it happen, but neither of them got any identifying information about the offending truck as it took off. One of the two guys did say that the driver was a black fella. Really? A black guy in Atlanta? Great detective work there, Columbo. I'll have the cops pick him up right now. The other guy said that two US Xpress trucks had come around the corner, one after the other. The second of the two had hit my truck. Without any numbers though, it really didn't make much difference. So now, if you work for US Xpress, you are a cocksucker by association. I don't make the rules. That's just the way it is.
So that call that I had to make to road service... it got some friends. I called my fleet manager first, since he would need to unassign that pre-planned load for tomorrow. Then he transferred me to the safety department. The lady with whom I spoke... I'm sure that she's a lovely person and respected in the community. We'll just leave it at that. For Christ's sake. I never realized how complicated "Somebody hit my truck while I was in the building" could sound. Now I know. For Christ's sake. She gave me the all clear (eventually) and I decided to head down to the yard and drop my trailer before making my call to road service.
That bumper was pretty damn close to the tire but it wasn't touching. The lights and turn signals were working. I could cover the last few miles. I made my drop and then got on the phone one more time. I told the road service guys about the trailer light issues. My guess is that nothing will be done about it and someone will be calling me a cocksucker tomorrow. Where I draw the distinction is that two of the four issues were fixed by unplugging a bad bulb and plugging in a new one. Clearly my predecessor didn't do this. Either he didn't care or didn't notice. Neither is acceptable to me. Sometimes a light goes out and you don't notice it. Yeah, it happens. I don't consider it very likely though that two lights stopped working, a blinker wire broke, and another light fell off, all on the way to the Salem ConWay yard. Yeah, I know, always the skeptic here. Whether or not anyone is sent out to fix the remaining two issues, I did my part today.
Anyhow, on to the truck. I told them what was what and they put the information into their computers. Then I was told that, if the truck can be driven, the usual approach is to make this type of repair in Joplin. We all know that I relish my role as an insignificant peon and I do my best to be a good little soldier. If I'm being ordered to march up the hill, I'll march up the hill. The truck was drivable and I wasn't paying the bill. If it's a suggestion and not an order, however, I don't think driving around and trying to get to Joplin sounds too cool at all. What if I'm coming down a mountain and that bumper starts to wobble and then cuts the tire? I flip over and die, then the company sends out a satellite message to everyone saying that I should have slowed down? Nah, screw that.
I found that the trip to Joplin was a suggestion and not an order. They sent me to the Kenworth dealer to the south of Atlanta. I was there for a little while before they were able to give me a ride to the Corleone Family's Georgia estate. I fully intend to sit at my computer all night and read articles that teach me how to be a better truck driver. I suspect that my Swedish buddy Sjoe will probably enjoy his evening a little more. I have no idea how long it takes to make that kind of repair. Sjoe and I will have to take a few Tylenols and call the shop in the morning. Here's hoping for a speedy repair.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Don't be shy. Chime in any time.