10/10/10

Shhhhhh.  Don't move.  Don't disrupt anything.  As long as my leg stays in it's current position (propped on a pillow, but not too high), and as long as I don't breathe too deeply, and as long as nobody in my building slams a door, and as long as I think happy thoughts... as long as all of these things hold true, my ass and hamstring only hurt a lot.  Oh, and my toes are numb.  Trust me when I tell you that this is a colossal improvement over how I was doing just 24 hours ago.

I know that you've all heard metaphorical references to words and the seemingly physical impact that they can have on people.  His heartless diatribe was like a knife through her fragile soul...  You know what I mean, right?  Well, when the dispatcher called me yesterday and broke the news that I would have to take a second run, her words had a physical impact on me.  Actual physical pain.  No kidding.  I had just suffered through my scheduled two-stop run and climbed back into my truck for the final drive back to Livonia.  Climbing into the truck is the most intensely excruciating part of this little injury situation, as I have to move sideways in order to get settled into the seat and I have to bend at the hips in order to assume a seated position.  Pure agony.  Then the phone call...

Before I left the terminal to pick up my load at noon, I had informed her that I was in serious pain and I needed nothing more than a quick and easy shift so that I could get back in bed.  Some kind of situation arose, leaving a $150 run to be covered.  There were two guys who had the hours to handle the situation.  I had the higher seniority but, knowing my situation, she passed over me and gave the load to the other guy.  Then he had a mechanical problem while making his first run.  I was the only one left.  Son of a...

I took a few more pain pills than I realized, which led to the puking incident(s) referenced in my previous post, but got absolutely no relief from the pain.  By the time I wrapped up that second shift, I was willing to compare this experience to the time that I worked a Friday night at a pizzeria with a kidney stone lodged squarely in my left ureter.  Until now I've maintained that nothing compares to the pain of a kidney stone.  I still would have to say that the kidney stone thing was worse, but this episode is now a part of the conversation.

So I came home and climbed into bed for another sleepless night.  I did get about an hour of sleep on Friday night.  That'll have to do.  Somewhere along the way the leg pain was overwhelmed by stomach pain.  I drank a glass of water and promptly spewed it into the toilet bowl.  Then I tried a piece of bread and it met the same fate.  At this point I realized the likely reason behind the stomach pain.  It probably didn't help that I had no appetite all day.  So not only had I been exceeding recommended dosages several times over, but I also had done so on an empty stomach.  Not smart.  I drank a few more glasses of water, each time waiting for my stomach to give the signal and send the water charging back out.  Might as well get it over with, I thought to myself.  After a half hour or so, my belly finally gave the 'all clear.' I brushed my teeth and got back into bed for more non-sleep.

When today rolled around, my objective was simple.  The dispatcher, following last night's painful phone call, had been kind enough to assign me to the easiest run on the board for today.  I just had to knock out one quick two-stop run and then spend the next day and a half in full bed rest mode.  I haven't had an opportunity for extended rest yet, so I want to give that a shot before I conclude that I need a doctor or something.  Hell, when this damned thing started, I was still going to the gym and working out every night.  Whatever is wrong, I probably made it worse without even knowing.  So yeah, that was the plan - two stops and then back to bed.

What was the first thing that I learned when I got to work?  An extra stop had been added to my run.  Sometimes a fella just can't catch a break.  I've found that Aleve seems to diffuse the pain a little, which is more than I could say for the Advil, Tylenol, Bayer, or Excedrin that I tried yesterday.  I can't really say that it lessened the pain in any significant way, but at least the sensation wasn't concentrated right at the spot where my ass and leg hit the seat of my truck.  It felt as if the pain was being shared by my whole leg instead.  (As I read what I've just written in this paragraph, it makes no sense to me, but whatever.  That's the best way that I can describe what the Aleve did for me.  As far as I'm concerned it was helpful.)  The stops weren't too difficult and the traffic was fairly light, so I finished my trip in around six hours.

I heard on the radio that my Irish and Redskins both won this weekend.  I seem to recall knowing about the outcome of the Notre Dame game yesterday, but I can't say for sure.  Truthfully speaking, I didn't care.  I was hanging on to a very thin thread at that point.  Now that I'm not bouncing down the road and crying for mercy, I suppose that this was a pretty good sports weekend, even if I didn't get a chance to observe.

Finally - back to bed with a day off tomorrow.  Through quite a bit of trial and error, I've reached the state of equilibrium that I described at the outset of this post.  I've been in this position for several hours, but I'll have to move the computer from my lap eventually.  Hopefully this won't cause a disruption in the harmonic balance that is allowing me to exist in my current state of rather intense pain.  The real kicker will come when I have to get up and take a piss.  All bets are off at that point.  Until then though... shhhhh.  Don't disrupt the cosmos.