5/28/10

Ahh yes, getaway day. I started a book last night as I was doing my laundry - Machiavelli's The Art of War. I didn't get very far into the book itself, but the foreword was rather long and interesting. Apparently Machiavelli's experience in war was rather limited and his organizational views on the same subject have received mixed reviews over the centuries, but one part of the introduction seemed relevant today.

Under many of the old European kingdoms, wars were fought mainly by loosely coordinated groups of paid mercenaries. This arrangement brought its own challenges, some of which Machiavelli sought to reduce by raising a citizen militia in the tradition of ancient times. A citizen militia, it was thought, would be more loyal and disciplined. As it turned out, the first few cracks at defending territory with such a militia were unsuccessful in the end. Whatever they may have possessed in terms of discipline and patriotism, the regular citizens lacked in pure military skill.

Major cities and suburban areas will always have traffic but there's usually a method to the madness. The commuters on their way to work are familiar with the terrain. The truck drivers are trying to earn a living, and thus will often interrupt momentarily the flow of traffic to assist themselves or fellow truck drivers in moving down the road. The traffic ebbs and flows within a fairly predictable range of times. The lighter and more mobile passenger cars are usually inclined to dart around and past the larger and slower vehicles. So, while it does often seem akin to hand-to-hand combat, at least the combatants know the terms of the battle.

On days like today, however, it's a different type of skirmish. Our version of the citizen militia, in the form of Hank and Beatrice heading southward to spend the weekend with the grandkids, takes the place of the professional commuter in the antagonist's role. They don't know where in the hell they're going. They don't possess the tools of the modern age (iPass). They are completely in awe of the urban freeway system. They're wholly unqualified to enter the field of battle, as it were. But gee golly, they love them damned grandkids. So, buoyed by falling gas prices and pleasant weather, onto the freeways they spill in massive numbers. And they tend to be roundly overwhelmed by the people who do this shit for a living.

It turned out that getting to Chicago before rush hour probably didn't do me any good. The getaway day crowd was into full swing before I even hit the road this morning. Down through Wisconsin it wasn't too bad. Illinois was another story altogether. From the moment when I saw people backed up out onto the freeway from the first toll booths, blocking the right lane, I knew that it was gonna be a long afternoon. Usually only a handful of people have to stop and pay a toll. On an ordinary day, even when traffic is heavy, most people cruise on through the iPass lanes without slowing down.

It was a slow but steady slog until I got down to the construction on I-290 and I-294. Then it got a whole lot slower and a whole lot less steady. I caught up with I-80 and, silly me, thought that the worst was over. Nope. Dead stopped. CB reports said that the backup ran all the way to I-65 and I was only at the I-94 split. That's a good ten or fifteen miles of stopped traffic. "Completely fucked" was how one westbound reporter described the scene. Luckily for him and his westbound brethren, it appears that nobody chooses to vacation in Iowa. No delays in that direction.

I decided to hop off on US-41 and try my luck. There are a ton of red lights for the first several miles on that road, but the whole damned interstate looked like it was stopped at a red light anyway. I'm not sure if I saved any time in the end, since US-41 was awfully crowded as well, but I did catch one side benefit. It turns out that my gas cap had popped off the fuel tank on the left side of my truck. I know that it was secured when I checked the truck over last night and then again this morning, so I'm not entirely sure how it came loose, but there it was in any case.

I had my CB on in an effort to catch any traffic tips from passing trucks, so I was able to hear about the situation from another driver. At one of the many red lights I hopped out and screwed 'er back in place. Not sure how much fuel had splashed out in the interim, but I suspect that the thing had just come loose in one of the rough spots on US-41. The tank was still damned near full and I had driven well over 200 miles since filling it up last night.

I stayed with US-41 down to US-231 and then angled over through Crown Point. Once I got to I-65 and down to the Pilot at Exit 240, I had seen enough for today. The other side to the holiday commuting equation is that holiday weekends themselves tend to bring the easiest traffic of the year. No point in trying to deal with Indianapolis today.

I am told that the rednecks are in charge down in Indy tomorrow though, so I think I'll chart some kind of course angling across the farmland and take the big city out of the picture entirely. I've been to the race track in Michigan with my father back when he used to buy season tickets at MIS. That place was a zoo for the entire race weekend and, as I understand it, the race in Indianapolis is more popular or something. I have plenty of time to go off the beaten path so I think I'll just keep my distance from the whole scene.

You know how people say that there's a reason for everything? After seeing this bizarre clip from LiveLeak, I'm pretty sure there's a reason that I'm not a news reporter. Seriously, what sort of OCD does this weirdo have? I'd have lasted about ten seconds before slugging him in the mouth.