Before it gets scrubbed from his website...

You've heard about Congressman Weiner in recent days, obviously, whether you wanted to or not.  It started as a rumor and then, until the shocking revelation that Sarah Palin was excited to be named as McCain's running mate, apparently it was the only newsworthy story in America.  Hour after hour, day after day, unfunny wiener jokes were the order of business. 

Stock market tanking for six straight weeks and it ain't done yet?  Irrelevant.  MORE WEINER!  "Days, not weeks" actually means months and months, while "protecting civilians" really means "trying to kill a dictator."  Who gives a shit?  MORE WEINER!  The housing market is collapsing again, despite billions of wasted dollars in taxpayer-funded handouts designed to avert such an outcome?  Hey... you know what would really help home prices?  MORE WEINER!  Unemployment?  WEINER!  Iranian nukes?  WEINER!  Our president follows up his stating of a position that will never happen (Israel's 1967 borders) by taking a position with no strategic or factual basis behind it (Argentina's claim to the Falklands)?  WEINER WEINER WEINER!  Thank God we'll have endless discussions of Sarah Palin's tanning bed to knock this shit off the front pages in days to come.

So of course it turned out that the dude was a bona fide pervert.  A married bona fide pervert.  Well, at least he picked the right career then.  [Side note:  What would lead a beautiful and apparently successful woman to marry an unrepentant douchebag?  All I can come up with are three possibilities - (1) blind naiveté, (2) unbridled political ambition, or (3) a need to hide something.  Is there a better explanation?  You know, in case I... err... I mean... some other douchebag ever wants to know how to pull off such an arrangement...]  I'm no paragon of virtue and I exercise nothing remotely resembling good judgment in my life, but I sure as hell know better than to send pictures of my cock to random strangers.  That kind of behavior is the sole dominion of a world-class idiot.  Well, at least he picked the right career then.  But hey, let's ask him to tell us how to reform entitlements and so forth.  I trust his judgment.

If you know what I know of the internet, and it's a safe bet that you do, you probably know where this story is bound to lead.  I make no secret of the fact that Twitter and Facebook hold no appeal for me, so I don't have accounts with either outfit.  I can't really understand why people find that stuff so intriguing, but que sera sera.  I'm not well versed in how that social media stuff works, but regarding the internet in general - I do spend plenty of time killing time.  I've seen some shit on the internet.  I have very few friends, I don't watch television, and I don't sleep much.  As long as I'm not working too many hours, I have time to kill.  I've seen some shit.  I feel perfectly comfortable in speculating that this creep was sending his junk to underage girls somewhere along the way - perfectly comfortable.  As in - I'd bet fifty bucks on it right now.

I'm often told by my liberal friends that a Republican who cheats on his wife is inherently worse than a Democrat who cheats on his wife, since Republicans are the party of family values or whatever.  'Hypocrisy' is the line back to which they always fall.  I, for one, love hypocrisy.  I embrace it.  When I find myself guilty of it, I generally type one of these posts and tell you about it.  My own cases tend to be rather mundane though, so I also try to point out the more egregious cases whenever I spot them among our "betters."  You know, good for the gander and so forth.  I fully understand the charge of hypocrisy.  I'm not sure that it always holds water in those 'family values' discussions. (Is one side really suggesting that abortion, infidelity, unwed mothers, and broken families should be a goal of society?  That's pretty weird, if so.)  I do appreciate the political expediency in using the charge, however.  Nobody prefers to vote for a hypocrite (even though we all do, over and over and over...).  Politics is about winning.  The loser with the great positive message doesn't end up enacting a single solitary policy, once all the votes are counted, if we're being completely honest here.  The best lying hypocrite does - right or left, no matter.

Hypocrisy is fun to point out when you don't like the hypocrite in question.  I guess that's all I'm really trying to say.  Therefore, since I most likely wont feel like typing a post when the time comes, I'm doing it now.  I don't like Anthony Weiner.  I think he's a pompous dickhead who really has nothing to offer society.  So let's go ahead and point out some of that sweet, sweet hypocrisy.

If it turns out that this guy's creepiness hasn't run afoul of the law in any way, then I guess this post will end up worthy of being ignored.  It won't be my first post to earn such a distinction, I'm sure.

Otherwise...

(The image is too large for this column.  Click to open.)

What was Captain Stiffdick's "venue of choice," since we're on the topic? Oh snap! Hypocrisy?  But hey, maybe we really should let these people decide what belongs on the internet and what doesn't.

I'm guessing that this page won't last forever in its current form.  Hence the screen cap.  Time will tell...