10/19/07

You know... they teach you a lot of stuff when you're getting into this line of work. At CDL school, they teach you how to operate the truck to some extent. When you ask around about different companies, the drivers teach you how to give their truck number to your recruiter so they can get a bonus. When you talk to the recruiters, they teach you just enough of whatever you want to hear in order to get you in the door. When you go to a company, they teach you how their operation works. When you go out with a trainer, they teach you how to do the job on a day-to-day basis.

What none of them teach you though, and what somewhere along the way you have to figure out, is that sometimes you just have to be a dick. Sometimes you have to drive aggressively or you just won't get very far. None of the safety departments will acknowledge this. None of the holier-than-thou "old school" guys who know everything will admit it. None of the trainers will cop to it. The fact of the matter is, though, that once in a while people will really force your hand. For me, today was one of those days.

It started out normally enough. I'm not a big fan of dragging 45,000 pounds through the mountains, but I do appreciate the value of having a 13 speed. Those few shorter shifts really do come in handy. A little rain, a little traffic, no major issues, and on to Maryland we go...

The drive along the DC Beltway tends to be one of my least favorite ones. Today, the actual beltway itself wasn't all that bad. It was 270 heading in and 95 heading out that were totally screwed up. It's generally understood that, when I'm running heavy, I don't try to pass any more than I have to. Inevitably, I'll get out in the left lane and then hit a hill that will knock all of my speed down and leave me blocking the road for everyone else. That's fine until I come up on the freaking booger-eater in his rusted pickup truck going 45mph on the interstate. This is the part where people are full of shit unless they acknowledge that sometimes you just have to take things into your own hands.

There's a certain art to making sure you don't hit anyone, but putting the idea into their heads that you just might hit them. I'm sure I'm just a dumbass steering wheel holder who has no business being on the road, but I figured out somewhere along the way that you can't always do it the way you were taught during training. Sure you could just slow down, like my trainer always suggested, but at what point is it too damn slow? 15 below the limit? 20? 25? Surely I'm exaggerating, right? Oh no my friends, not at all. Between the people who would merge right off my front bumper at ridiculously slow speeds to the ones who would pass me up a hill and cut me off going down, to the ones who would speed up to get next to me and keep me from moving around slower traffic, I was ready to go ballistic on a few today.

Try to leave a seven second following distance, they taught us. Bullshit. That seven second following distance is nothing more than an invitation for people to cut you off. If you can keep more than three or four seconds on a busy road, you're doing quite well.

If you just slow down, the traffic will move away from you, they taught us. Bullshit. No matter how slow you go, some jerkoff will go slower. No matter how careful you are, someone with a license to drive will have no idea how to merge. I understand the concept, but the idea of making pickups and deliveries on time, while going 40mph down the insterstate, riding my brakes on wet roads all the while, just doesn't cut it for me.

So, for an hour or two this morning, I was 'that guy.' I was the guy who was in the left lane going below the speed limit because the people in the right lane were riding their brakes for no reason. I was the guy who wouldn't move over to let people merge because I knew the fucks behind me would come around on my right and I would never be able to get back over. I was the guy going above the speed limit through a city because if I dared to slow down, I would hold up the only line of traffic that was actually moving. I was the guy who would cut people off as they approached because I could see that there were no other openings for another mile or two.

I don't like days like this. I'm one of the few people out here who actually drive the speed limit, so 90% of the time I can just cruise along in the slow lane and mind my own business. If people always follwed the 'slower traffic keep right' edict, things would probably be a lot easier. But, every now and again, a day like today comes up and you just have to drive like an asshole to make it by.

So... a little break in Ruther Glen brought a pleasant surprise. The Flying J had the truck stop directory that I've been looking for. Plus my paycheck was once again well over budget so I got to scoot a little money into the official Godfather Slush Fund. A little partying is on the agenda when I go home next month, so it's nice to rake in a few extra bucks. After I hung out there and had some lunch, I finished running dow to Sutherland for my drop/hook at the WalMart DC. It took an hour or so to get my next assignment, which will see me picking up tomorrow morning in Suffolk and heading back up to Ohio. I may or may not have had the hours to get to Suffolk on today's 14 hour clock, but I didn't feel like driving down there and finding a place to hang out. I was settled in comfortably here, so I'll make the drive down tomorrow morning. Hopefully the weekend traffic will be favorable.

I expect to have time for a break tomorrow afternoon since this is a 660 mile run and it will most likely require more than a single driving shift. As long as this is the case, I can take a break to watch the football game and then get by with an eight hour break overnight. That would give me back whatever hours I use before the afternoon break, which should be plenty to finish off the run.

Well, when you're in the gutter and you have no place to go but up, you might as well just keep swinging for the fences:

And Skywalker was kind enough to share this little bit of amusement, titled 'Arab Technology Meets German Engineering':