Sunday, December 2, 2012

An outlier has been identified.

As the past week has transpired, I've noticed that the loyalty of SEC fans to their conference is nothing short of creepy.  It's almost like they're still pissed about that 'War of Northern Aggression' or something.  (Hint: They are.)  I suppose there's something to be said for the idea that a losing team might feel better if the team that beat them were to go on and win it all.  Then the losing team can make some sort of perpetual claim to #2 status, or whatever.  But the SEC takes it to a whole new level.

I used to live in Georgia.  I still have relatives down there and, through the wonders of having been a truck driver, I came to know a few other people down there.  So I know that several of them were pretty damned fired up about that game against Alabama yesterday.  They hate Nick Saban.  They hate Alabama.  They hate Bear Bryant's ghost and all the rest of it.  They really wanted to win that game.  But they lost.

Now... they're rooting for Alabama to beat Notre Dame so that the national title will stay in the SEC?  What the fuck kind of hillbilly logic is that?  It's not just Georgia either.  The LSU and Florida degenerates are the same way.

Obviously Notre Dame is an independent in football, so I don't have a direct connection to the conference mindset, but I can't think of a time when I've ever rooted for USC to win a game.  I don't necessarily root against them either (I really don't care if they win or not), but I sure as shit don't have some blind loyalty to a rival program.  I don't root for the Cowboys when the Redskins miss the playoffs.  I don't like the Cowboys - full stop.  Why in the hell would I want them to win a Super Bowl?  I don't root for the Blackhawks after the Wings are out.  I don't like the Blackhawks.  I don't root for the White Sox when the Tigers are out.  I don't like the White Sox.  I can't imagine what kind of loser's satisfaction I would get from being able to say, "Well yeah, we ain't that good, but at least the AL Central won the Series."  That mindset is just stupid, man.  Stupid and creepy.

But at least there's one spot in the SEC where pure unadulterated hatred isn't going to be compromised by weird cult sensibilities.



Sure, they just whacked their coach and there are probably going to be some NCAA issues to deal with in the near future, but at least the Auburn fans still hate Alabama more than they hate everybody outside the SEC.  I was in Auburn once.  Aside from the fact that it seemed like a really remote place, compared with some of the other college towns that I had visited, nothing really stuck out about it.  Just another place along the highway.  But now, thanks to a fairly clever bit of graphic design work that appears to be supporting my Irish, I think I'll like Auburn for the next month or two.

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