Plenty of you enjoy your daily coffee, right? Personally, I find that the stuff tastes horrible. A pretty good rule of thumb for me is that, whenever I need to add a bunch of shit to make something taste better, I probably should just drink something that tastes better in the first place. I'll take a good whiskey with no Coke in it, a good beer with no lime juice in it, and a good tea with no sugar in it. That's just me though. I know how people are creatures of habit and so forth. If you feel better after a cup of that nasty stuff, then good for you.
So I was driving up to Lapeer yesterday. I caught a Tennessee run on Monday, then spent my scheduled day off (Tuesday) sleeping and driving home. In return for my assistance with the Tennessee deal, I got a wicked easy assignment for the next day - one store in Lapeer and another in Imlay City. Five hours of work for my eight-hour minimum pay, with plenty of time for a nice nap before I hit the gym at night. Beauty.
The route that I take from Livonia to Lapeer tends to be a hit-or-miss deal. I run I-96 over to Telegraph (US-24). Then I go up Telegraph to Square Lake and cut across to I-75. I-75 dumps me onto Lapeer Road (MI-24) in Auburn Hills. Lapeer Road goes all the way to Lapeer, which turns out to be convenient when Lapeer is my destination. The hit-or-miss aspect comes into play when red lights and traffic are taken into consideration. Sometimes the trip takes an hour. Sometimes it takes an hour and a half.
On yesterday's trip I caught quite a few red lights. One of them was in the middle of Lake Orion. Lake Orion is an interesting town in its own way, since it grew largely around the local GM plant. Most of the local businesses came in to serve the auto workers and their families. Then, when many of those same auto workers either lost their jobs or got reassigned to other plants, the city had to adapt. One of the adaptations - the coffee shop.
I already told you that I have no beef with people who like coffee. Whatever floats your boat, man. I do, however, have a beef with a certain class of coffee drinkers. The people who think that the trendy hipster coffee shop is the center of society - I hate them. It's not a rational hatred. These may be fine citizens, after all. It's just a visceral disgust that I feel when I see some jagoff in his little girly jeans holding a venti latte (or whatever the hell it's called) while he prances down the street admiring the smell of his own farts. I hate that fucking guy.
Yeah, I saw that guy in Lake Orion yesterday. He and I were both waiting for the light to change and allow us to proceed to our destinations. I was driving and he was walking (with his little sissy cup held unnaturally high for the world to see). I couldn't help but feel sorry for the broad who was walking with him. Again, nothing rational here. Just my own impressions. Seriously though, what is in store for that poor gal? I don't know man. I just know that too many people seem to think that the show Friends was real. It has long been obvious that I was born in the wrong decade, but shit. There's no way John Wayne would go into some metrosexual coffee shop and pay $8 for a cup of sugary bullshit. He would boil some fucking coffee beans and suck down the shitty result. And he wouldn't dress like a member of Culture Club either.
That's enough, I guess. You get the point. I actually had a decent topic in mind for one of these posts, but I seem to have forgotten what it was. A case of beer and a comfy couch will have that kind of effect on a fella. Maybe that's why the coffee douchebags come to mind tonight. I don't know. Whatever. Back to work tomorrow, so I guess it's bedtime.
I don't know any cutesy symbol for howling w/laughter, but once again reading your post out loud as we're rolling down the road makes us glad it's dark and no one can see what idiots we look like as we laugh out loud. Although we confess to enjoying a cup of the "trendy coffee" now and then (even though they always look disappointed when we say coffee, just plain coffee)...we've made similar observations about the atmosphere and clientel....but could never be as articulate as you. lol lol BB
ReplyDeleteWell written, Vito. I agree totally about coffee, as I tend to take mine straight, maybe some cream, but usually nothing added at all. I find the coffee at a certain chain of Truckstops in America taste like they go out to the front door, open the cigarette butt container, sift out the half-smoked cigs, and put them in the coffee grounds as an "extender" for more profits.
ReplyDeleteWhile reflecting on your opening sentences, the similie between coffee and women (or men, depending on your preference).
-- Calmar
I'm not sure I can buy into that simile. I've always found a lovely lass with a couple of enhancements to be quite delightful.
ReplyDeleteAnd it's not so bad to look like idiots while you drive a big rig. Keeps the public guessing. I often blast the stereo full-tilt and jam along with the music, forgetting that the average car passenger seems to like looking at big trucks. I only get a few honks of the horn, but quite a few funny looks.
Go Seahawks
ReplyDeleteI'd be fine with the Seahawks if it weren't for the fact that they have that scumbag as a head coach. Screw them.
ReplyDeleteThe Jets have a turd as a quarterback. The Falcons bore me. My uncle is a huge Bears fan from Chicago, so screw them as well. The Ravens annoy for me for several reasons, but Ray Lewis is near the top of the list. I'm tired of the Brady/Belichick routine. So we're left with either Pittsburgh or Green Bay as the team that I will have to support.
Roethlisberger has become tiresome to me and Polamalu is another USC douchebag, so Green Bay it is.
(And thus is the rationale behind the rooting interest of a football fan who maintains only a marginal interest in the NFL, once the Redskins have folded their tents for the season.)
Go Pack go!
You are dead on with the trendy coffee shops. I've been to a few places that only sell straight coffee with minimal enhancement and none of that foo foo crap, as I like to call it... but they are few and far between
ReplyDeleteI personally can tell when its a trendy coffee shop when a small is a "Tall" and a large is a "Grande," or some other foreign language for the same word.
I usually order a large at any shop... to which the usual reply is "Do you mean Grande?" uh... "no honey.. I mean large!"
Good post, bro. Sorry about the repost... I posted with only half a thought in place.
The controversy on NPR this week seems to revolve around the new 31 ounce offerings. 'Trenta,' as they are apparently called, means 'thirty' in Italian. The appropriate term would be 'trenta-uno' or something along those lines. (I don't speak Italian, for the record.)
ReplyDeleteI don't drink coffee in any size or any form, but it was amusing to me that there was a ten minute radio spot devoted to the subject. Not sure what that one would be called on the small-large continuum though. 'Extra large,' I suppose.