5/30/10

Oh hell, I think I screwed up here.  In what should come as a surprise to nobody, I wasn't exactly feeling like a million bucks this morning.  Let's just say that it was a late night last night.  That was fine though, because I didn't really have to go anywhere today until I was good and ready.  After a few Advils and another one of those nice big cheeseburgers, I managed to pull myself together a little better.  The burgers came in a package of four, so I cooked the last one and wrapped it up for later, then cleaned up my mess and hit the road.

The few hours of driving that I did today were fairly straightforward.  Well, I shouldn't say straightforward.  More like up and down and right and left and this way and that forward.  You know what I think of West Virginia, after all.

I was done for the day once I got down to the T/A in Wytheville, Virginia. Good enough. Might as well leave a few hours for tomorrow. So... pretty easy day of work today. The Tigers finally had a good game this afternoon. I got a nice easy parking space at the truck stop. What could be wrong?

I was tired when I got here. I mean really tired. One of the good things about my line of work, I suppose, is that I'm never more than a few feet away from my bed. I cranked up the A/C and hopped in the bunk for a nap. Good deal.

Now we come to the problem though. I just got up to take a leak and saw that it was 1:30am. I'm wide freaking awake now. Somehow, between now and Tuesday morning, I'm gonna have to get back on an 'up in the morning' schedule. I guess I can just stay up through the rest of tonight and tomorrow. That should leave me tired enough to sleep tomorrow night. Maybe. We'll see how it goes.

About 170 miles to drive in order to reach my consignee from here.

5/29/10

You never know what life is going to throw at you, so it's a good thing that your don is here to provide some advice... just in case.  There may come a day when you start work on a Saturday morning.  You might angle through the Indiana countryside until you've cleared Indianapolis, then drop down and catch up with the freeway.  Perhaps you'll enjoy the beautiful weather and the light holiday weekend traffic all the way through Indiana and Ohio.  You'll have no trouble handling any of that.

At some point though, you may think that Saturday on a summer holiday weekend is supposed to be a day for cooking out and relaxing.  You'll be correct.  So here's what you need to do:

First, procure the ingredients.  You should already have paper plates, a folding camp chair, some grilling tools, and a small portable cooler.  If you don't have these things, then you'll need to acquire them as part of the next step.  Now, head to the nearest Wal Mart.  If you happen to encounter one that is openly hostile toward people in your line of work (like the one in Washington Court House, Ohio), just continue until you find a more receptive location (like the one in Chillicothe, Ohio).  Head into the Wal Mart and buy the following:

1 - bag of kaiser rolls
1 - pack of 1/3 pound hamburger patties
1 - disposable charcoal grill with charcoal
1 - small bag of match light charcoal (optional)
1 - package of cheese (choose any flavor you like)
1 - 18 pack of water (or other beverage of your choice)
1 - cheap styrofoam cooler
1 - bag of ice

Once you've brought these things out to your vehicle, fill the styrofoam cooler with your water (or other beverage of your choice).  Top it off with ice.  Place the hamburger patties and cheese into your small portable cooler.  Top it off with ice.  Place everything into your vehicle. Now proceed to your chosen cookout location, such as the truck stop with the big parking lot in Jackson, Ohio.

Set up the disposable grill.  It comes with its own little bag of match light charcoal.  Crush a paper plate.  Then straighten out the paper plate and place it in the center of the grill.  Place the bag of charcoal on top of the plate.  The legs on the grill are designed to stand vertically and support the cooking grate, but the whole system basically sucks ass.  What you'll need to do is angle the legs in a manner that allows them to provide some stability to the base of the grill while still keeping the grate above the coals.  It won't look like the picture on the packaging, but stability is your main objective.  This part will take some trial and error, so do it first.

Once you have the grill in a stable position and the grate firmly supported, you may want to add some of the (optional) match light charcoal from the additional bag.  These additional coals should be equally distributed around the edges of the grill.  For a hot dog or two, the coals that come with the grill will suffice.  For more substantial pieces of meat, you'll want enough coals to cover the entire bottom of the grill, approximately two briquettes deep.

Now that your grill is set up, light either the plate under the original bag of charcoal (if no additional coals were added), or otherwise light the coals that you've placed around the edges.  They will in turn light whatever is in the center of the grill.  The bag that comes with the grill will not burn as readily as its manufacturer would have you believe.  The paper plate underneath will help to carry some flames to different areas of the bag.  The wrinkles and ridges that you've created by crushing the plate will provide pathways for oxygen to travel under the entire arrangement.

Sit back and enjoy your first few bottles of water (or other beverage of your choice).  Once the flames have burned out, stir the coals with any handy metal object and try to distribute them as evenly as possible across the bottom of the grill.  Be careful not to disrupt your grill's stability as you do this.  Now enjoy your next couple of bottles of water (or other beverage of your choice).  When the coals appear more gray than black, you're ready to start cooking.  Just to make sure that you've achieved even burning, hold your hand a few inches above the grate.  You shouldn't be able to keep it there for more than a few seconds.  Move your hand to different parts of the grate and repeat this step.

Provided that your coals are ready, place your hamburger patties on the grill.  A grill of this size can cook anywhere from two to four patties at a given time.  After a minute or so, flip the patties.  This initial cooking stage is merely intended to sear one side of the patties and hold in their moisture.  Now that you've flipped the patties,  let them cook for a while.  At this stage you are encouraged to enjoy a few more bottles of water (or other beverage of your choice).  Once the edges of the patties appear to be thoroughly browned from top to bottom, flip them again and let them cook for a while longer.  At this stage you should drink... oh hell, you know.

Once your hamburger patties are nearly finished, cut your kaiser rolls in half.  If you so choose and your grill has enough room available, place the rolls on the grate (cut side down).  The rolls will be lightly toasted after only a minute or two.  Keep a close eye on them instead of enjoying more of your chosen beverage.

Once the rolls are lightly toasted, remove them from the grill. Place a slice of cheese on each burger patty. As soon as the corners of the cheese have begun to wilt, remove the patties from the grill. Most amateurs will tend to cook the cheese too long. By cooking the cheese until it appears melted, you'll destroy its texture and weaken its flavor. Once the corners have begun to wilt, the texture of the cheese is at its premium level. Trust me on this one. It used to be my vocation.

Now put the patties on the kaiser rolls and enjoy.

If you're lucky, you'll finish two fantastic cheeseburgers and several bottles of water (or other beverage of your choice) just as the sun begins to retreat behind the horizon. Enjoy the view. Then, if your hometown baseball team happens to be getting whipped at the time, you can crank up your XM Radio to a level that can be heard outside your vehicle and work on the remaining bottles of water (or other beverage of your choice).

Addendum: If you've bought a sufficient quantity of burgers and buns, as well as the optional bag of match light charcoal, you'll be all set for an early lunch cookout before hitting the road on Sunday. For various reasons, you may want to go ahead and finish the water (or other beverage of your choice) on Saturday. Depending on what sort of beverage you've chosen, it may or may not be a suitable accompaniment for your Sunday lunch. Once your early lunch is over, you can dump any remaining ice or water from your coolers onto the coals, rendering them fit for disposal.

And that, my friends, is what you should do when you can't make it to a holiday cookout. Bring the holiday cookout to you.

As for me, I'm pretty sure I'm less than 400 miles from my final destination at this point. I have two days of driving to get there, so... yeah. Pretty easy schedule ahead. My pay week wraps up with a healthy 2,810 miles plus over $40 in northeast pay. Over $1,100 with pleny of relaxation time - life could be worse. Life could be a whole lot worse.

5/28/10

Ahh yes, getaway day. I started a book last night as I was doing my laundry - Machiavelli's The Art of War. I didn't get very far into the book itself, but the foreword was rather long and interesting. Apparently Machiavelli's experience in war was rather limited and his organizational views on the same subject have received mixed reviews over the centuries, but one part of the introduction seemed relevant today.

Under many of the old European kingdoms, wars were fought mainly by loosely coordinated groups of paid mercenaries. This arrangement brought its own challenges, some of which Machiavelli sought to reduce by raising a citizen militia in the tradition of ancient times. A citizen militia, it was thought, would be more loyal and disciplined. As it turned out, the first few cracks at defending territory with such a militia were unsuccessful in the end. Whatever they may have possessed in terms of discipline and patriotism, the regular citizens lacked in pure military skill.

Major cities and suburban areas will always have traffic but there's usually a method to the madness. The commuters on their way to work are familiar with the terrain. The truck drivers are trying to earn a living, and thus will often interrupt momentarily the flow of traffic to assist themselves or fellow truck drivers in moving down the road. The traffic ebbs and flows within a fairly predictable range of times. The lighter and more mobile passenger cars are usually inclined to dart around and past the larger and slower vehicles. So, while it does often seem akin to hand-to-hand combat, at least the combatants know the terms of the battle.

On days like today, however, it's a different type of skirmish. Our version of the citizen militia, in the form of Hank and Beatrice heading southward to spend the weekend with the grandkids, takes the place of the professional commuter in the antagonist's role. They don't know where in the hell they're going. They don't possess the tools of the modern age (iPass). They are completely in awe of the urban freeway system. They're wholly unqualified to enter the field of battle, as it were. But gee golly, they love them damned grandkids. So, buoyed by falling gas prices and pleasant weather, onto the freeways they spill in massive numbers. And they tend to be roundly overwhelmed by the people who do this shit for a living.

It turned out that getting to Chicago before rush hour probably didn't do me any good. The getaway day crowd was into full swing before I even hit the road this morning. Down through Wisconsin it wasn't too bad. Illinois was another story altogether. From the moment when I saw people backed up out onto the freeway from the first toll booths, blocking the right lane, I knew that it was gonna be a long afternoon. Usually only a handful of people have to stop and pay a toll. On an ordinary day, even when traffic is heavy, most people cruise on through the iPass lanes without slowing down.

It was a slow but steady slog until I got down to the construction on I-290 and I-294. Then it got a whole lot slower and a whole lot less steady. I caught up with I-80 and, silly me, thought that the worst was over. Nope. Dead stopped. CB reports said that the backup ran all the way to I-65 and I was only at the I-94 split. That's a good ten or fifteen miles of stopped traffic. "Completely fucked" was how one westbound reporter described the scene. Luckily for him and his westbound brethren, it appears that nobody chooses to vacation in Iowa. No delays in that direction.

I decided to hop off on US-41 and try my luck. There are a ton of red lights for the first several miles on that road, but the whole damned interstate looked like it was stopped at a red light anyway. I'm not sure if I saved any time in the end, since US-41 was awfully crowded as well, but I did catch one side benefit. It turns out that my gas cap had popped off the fuel tank on the left side of my truck. I know that it was secured when I checked the truck over last night and then again this morning, so I'm not entirely sure how it came loose, but there it was in any case.

I had my CB on in an effort to catch any traffic tips from passing trucks, so I was able to hear about the situation from another driver. At one of the many red lights I hopped out and screwed 'er back in place. Not sure how much fuel had splashed out in the interim, but I suspect that the thing had just come loose in one of the rough spots on US-41. The tank was still damned near full and I had driven well over 200 miles since filling it up last night.

I stayed with US-41 down to US-231 and then angled over through Crown Point. Once I got to I-65 and down to the Pilot at Exit 240, I had seen enough for today. The other side to the holiday commuting equation is that holiday weekends themselves tend to bring the easiest traffic of the year. No point in trying to deal with Indianapolis today.

I am told that the rednecks are in charge down in Indy tomorrow though, so I think I'll chart some kind of course angling across the farmland and take the big city out of the picture entirely. I've been to the race track in Michigan with my father back when he used to buy season tickets at MIS. That place was a zoo for the entire race weekend and, as I understand it, the race in Indianapolis is more popular or something. I have plenty of time to go off the beaten path so I think I'll just keep my distance from the whole scene.

You know how people say that there's a reason for everything? After seeing this bizarre clip from LiveLeak, I'm pretty sure there's a reason that I'm not a news reporter. Seriously, what sort of OCD does this weirdo have? I'd have lasted about ten seconds before slugging him in the mouth.

5/27/10

On a recent trip across I-80 in Ohio, I spent the night outside Toledo and had dinner with my mother, who drove down from Lincoln Park.  I wasn't in the mood for anything in particular and neither was she, so I pulled up one of the groovy applications on my fancy cell phone and found that there was a Mexican restaurant not too far from the truck stop.  (Unfortunately we wound up at Frisch's, but that's another story entirely.)  We drove a couple of miles and found that the Mexican place had long since been shuttered.  You see that sort of thing a lot in the Midwest.  When my buddies came down and picked me up a couple of days ago, we had a conversation along the same lines as we drove down the street and saw all of the 'For Sale' and 'For Lease' signs.

While it may get a little depressing every now and then to sit back and wonder what this section of the country may have been like when it was the economic engine of the world, sometimes the current state of affairs can play to my advantage.  After a quick trip over to Fridley, Minnesota this morning, I was unloaded and sent on my way.  I found myself at #1 on the board so I was reasonably confident that a new assignment should come over the satellite before too long.  The nearest truck stops were at least twenty miles in either direction, so I really didn't want to drive to one of them.  Time to go scouting.  It has been my experience that any part of the country that was once a manufacturing center is bound to have a vacant building within a few miles of virtually any spot on the map.  I headed northward for about 3/4 of a mile or so and there it was.  A Home Depot store was on the left.  Right next to it was a vacant business.  Beauty... err, you know what I mean.

When I went to mail my rent check a few days ago, I realized that I didn't have any stamps.  Then I forgot about it.  Now the end of the month is fast approaching so I needed to find some stamps.  As I say on a regular basis, I wouldn't want to know what this job was like before the internet came along.  A quick visit to usps.com showed that I could buy stamps at a CVS on University Avenue.  Then a quick visit to maps.live.com showed that I was only half a mile away.  Not bad.  I headed over there and bought my stamps, then spotted a mailbox in front of a neighboring grocery store.  Mission accomplished.

By the time I got back to my truck, I had a new assignment waiting.  It was set to pick up in St. Paul at 3pm so I kicked back and relaxed for a while.  Hoping to get out of the area before the afternoon traffic kicked up, I drove down and arrived at the shipper at 1pm.  I was looking for a place called Northern Iron Machine.  I walked into the building in the following picture.  (Apologies for the bad picture quality from across the parking lot.  Given what I just told you though, you can figure out what the top name says.)

So I just go in and let them know I'm picking up a load, right?  That's what I thought.  I was treated to a rather rude reception though.  "You looking for General Foundry?" a worn-out looking gentleman asked.  No, I informed him, I'm picking up at Northern Iron Machine.  "Well you should go to Northern Iron Machine then," he retorted.  Apparently the name on the building is just for shits and giggles.  I don't know.  After seeing that I wasn't leaving until I knew what in the hell was going on, he gave in and told me that I was looking for the place on the other side of the parking lot.  Okay then.

Once I walked over to the proper building, I was loaded quickly and efficiently.  26,000 pounds isn't a super light load, but it's a hell of a lot better than what I've been hauling for most of this year.  And I managed to beat the traffic out of town.  I actually got pretty lucky in that respect today.  I-694 is down to one lane on the way into the Twin Cities, but I headed across so early this morning that there weren't any delays.  Then I came straight out on I-94 and everything was peachy.  That stretch in Wisconsin where everything was torn up on the westbound side was rough but unimpeded on the eastbound side.  Beauty.

I'm due in North Carolina by Tuesday morning, so I'll get to enjoy my usual holiday weekend pace.  Whenever these Monday holidays come around, I tend to catch an assignment that normally would deliver on Monday but gets pushed back to Tuesday.  This meant that I only had two objectives for this evening.  Firstly, I wanted to get far enough that I'll beat the afternoon traffic out of Chicago.  I don't like to wake very early, so somewhere within a few hours of the Windy City was in order.  Secondly, I wanted to get to a Pilot where I could top off the tanks, get an advance for some laundry money, and use my free shower credit after tonight's workout.  Mauston it is then.  (I was disappointed to learn that the town isn't actually named after former Notre Dame punter Eric Maust.)

It looks like I'm within 1,000 miles of my final destination in Sanford, North Carolina at this point.  Maybe I'll see one of the Corleone Family's many estates with truck parking along the way and take a day or two off.  Or maybe I'll just work a few hours a day.  I don't know.  We'll see how it goes.